Mona says

July 28, 2013

Thoughts, Ramadan 2013

Filed under: Random — by Mona S. @ 1:14 pm

This year, the fasts are about 15 hours long. As always, the first was the hardest. Now we’ve all fallen into a (exhausted) sort of routine, and I don’t feel the hunger or the thirst as much. Schooling yourself to ignore hunger and thirst when you know you will be provided for at iftar is easy, I guess.

I’m now focusing on the other parts of myself that need working on – the humility, the constant faith, being just and kind, being patient – the things that will really draw me closer to the kind of Muslim I want to be. This is the part that’s so much harder. That is what I struggle with daily.

Remembering to be grateful for all the blessings that I’ve asked for, and those that I haven’t. Remembering that in actuality I didn’t really do anything to ‘deserve’ the good. Putting what my deen requires of me before what my nafs wants. Being kind and patient to with the children, no matter what, being non-judgmental – basically turning into a real ambassador of Islam.

I struggled in the first few days with doing more and more and more ibadah. As a result, I was tired and cranky and wanted the day to end about 5 minutes after Iftar. It really wasn’t working for me and I came across this video, which reminded me of advice a wise friend had given me a few ramadans ago, how everything you do can be made worship just by fixing your intention – just by doing for the sake of your Lord. That simple!

So now things are going so much better, the days flow more smoothly into one another. I spend a lot more time with the kids explaining the meaning and reason behind revelation of the smaller surahs, talking about Islam and telling them stories from the Quran or working on Islamic crafts. The kids love it and I always come out feeling that my iman has just received a boost as well.

Once in a while, I feel like that I’m not doing enough ‘real’ ibadah but I pray taraweeh with so much feeling that it quickly does away with that line of thinking. Then I feel guilty that I take the easy way out when I should be pushing myself to do more. It’s a vicious circle but focusing on my own personal goals and family’s happiness for this Ramadan seems to be working out well for me. The last ten nights, the most important part of Ramadan, are almost upon us. I will be in India and I think it will be a real test then to keep the Ramadan spirit going but I’m going to give it my very best.


1 Comment »

  1. SubhanAllah this was such an inspirational read. I have to totally agree with you on quantity vs quality, especially with little children around. May Allah swt reward you for every bit of your effort.

    Comment by bookbuddiesnetwork — July 28, 2013 @ 5:03 pm |Reply

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