Mona says

June 25, 2012

On memories and reminiscing

Filed under: Random — by Mona S. @ 7:51 pm

I’ve always said, to anyone who’d care to listen, that my bad memory is a sign that I’m going to be an Alzheimer’s patient eventually. I don’t think that I’ve always had a bad memory but I have noticed it getting progressively worse with time. This afternoon, I was freaking out because I couldn’t remember Noob’s teacher from last year – I mean I remember her first name, and her face but I just can’t seem to recall her family name!

At dinner tonight, as Z is often wont to do, he started reminiscing about his glorious childhood. I’ve always been a bit envious about how clearly he recalls his childhood when I can’t! I’d tell him, quite often, that he tends to live in the past but I’ve come to accept that it’s just that I wish I could remember my childhood with such startling clarity.

And while he retold some story of his childhood for only the 5467th time, I started to really think, to really push my brain to remember something of my own childhood and I was surprised but I started to remember some really random details – some were so faint, that all I remembered was the smell of something, the feel of something else and a glimpse of some stuff I didn’t even recognize.

My first tricycle, the feel of its seat with my dress bunched up around my thighs, the feel of my rocking horse at my nani’s place in India, and some such other things which I’m not yet sure I’m ready to share just yet. I think I just want to think about them some more. And maybe talk to my mom about them tomorrow. I’m just so glad these memories aren’t lost that at least a few of them are in there somewhere.

I am looking forward to curling up in bed later tonight, and maybe remembering some more stuff and mostly, just focusing on the tidbits that I did manage to remember.

I think I can finally see the charm in reminiscing. It makes my heart yearn, but I don’t really understand what I’m yearning for – the lost moments, my childhood, the purity and intensity of my emotions from that time, all of these things and more, none of these things? I just don’t know but it is a nice, fuzzy warm feeling that envelopes me when I think of these things…

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