Mona says

May 6, 2007

Thoughts

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Mona S. @ 1:14 pm
Tags: ,

Yesterday, I watched a Hindi movie after ages. There was one scene in the movie that in the recent turn of events made me pause and think. Picture this, five men – four young and one older – the younger ones conversing about how after marriage things got more boring, and people ended up staying together out of habit. And the older one said, (and this sounds better in hindi), that if you weren’t so habituated to holding your loved ones’ hands through the journey of life, there wouldn’t be that intense fear of losing your grip either.

Hmm.

We’re traveling to India soon for Misha’s wedding and the logistics have been a topic of many debates and arguments between Zman and I. The both of us are generally patient, and cool as cucumbers but this seems to be a topic that we can’t reach middle ground on. I think it’s because emotionally this trip holds a lot of significance for the both of us.

For me, it’s the last chance to spend time with Misha, a few days before she gets married – just to be there, to offer support, advice, or whatever she needs. For Z, it’s the introduction of his baby to his parents. Throw in my recent surgery, sleep deprivation and hormonal madness, and you’re set for some insanity.

All through the 9 months that I was carrying Hana, I knew that dynamics of my relationship with Z would change, but I could in no way have anticipated how. Somehow, I thought things would only get better – but I’m honest enough to admit that somethings have got better and somethings have got worse. Our strength is our commitment to our marriage and communication and I have no doubt that we can fix whatever problems we’re having right now, it could just be the hormones that seem to have taken over me or the fact that we’re both reeling from all the changes this baby has brought in our lives.

It occured to me that I’ve read so many accounts of post-partum depression, events and life in general, yet I’ve never heard described the changes that the married couple go through after the arrival of the baby. How does the couple adjust? How long does it take? What should couples do to make sure that things between them get better?

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2 Comments »

  1. good luck for the wedding hon!show us pics when they come out. as far as post delivery goes…i wish you all the best…uve got a beautiful baby and a loving husband…everything will work the way you want it to! 🙂 keep smiling!

    Comment by arthi — June 1, 2007 @ 11:32 pm |Reply

  2. Hello Mona,

    I just found your blog (the mommy one) and discovered we gave birth in the same month (my son was born on 18 April). And a lot of what you write about is what I experience in my own life.

    Now regarding marriages, I had so many people tell me that the first year after having the baby is THE MOST stressful for any married couple. And many of my friends said that their biggest accomplishment in this year was simply not getting the divorce.

    I know, I know, I thought it will get better and better, but the stress does take its toll.

    So wanted to tell you to hang in there.. and don’t let it get to you too much.

    Comment by Natalia — August 12, 2007 @ 7:30 am |Reply


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