Mona says

February 4, 2007

On the eve of your wedding…(1)

Filed under: Uncategorized — by Mona S. @ 12:28 pm
Tags: , ,

This series of posts is dedicated to M, who’s finally getting married on May 25th, iA 🙂

For as long as I can remember, you’ve always been part of my life, my world. The one and a half  or two years that you weren’t, I don’t even remember.

We’ve shared clothes, toys, candies, rooms, interests, thoughts…the list is endless. We’ve always turned to each other for advice, criticism and just general catching up. It makes me smile everytime I think of the times we spent arranging and rearranging our book collection (all those Enid Blytons, replaced by trashy Danielle Steeles and then replaced by our totally different choices of Nora Roberts and Julie Garwoods (you!) and Jeffrey Archer and whatnot (me!)), our music collection (I don’t want to embarass us publicly so I won’t mention what we used to listen to), our clothes or our room itself! I think of the times we spent lying in bed, talking late into the nights, about anything and everything under the sun.

Even our crazy fights, where we wouldn’t speak to each other for days! That one time we didn’t speak to each other for a month! I was so lonely, and desperate to make up as I know you were, but pride got in the way. I don’t remember why we fought, or even how we made up, but I do remember how lonely I was.

When I moved away, I missed the whole family so much, but you, I missed the most. I hated sleeping by myself, having nobody to consult on what to wear, what to do with my hair on important days in college and having nobody to talk to on my ‘down’ days. Moving back was a shock – things had changed so much. I felt like you’d moved on in a way that felt like a betrayal. Like you didn’t need me anymore, the way I still needed you.

That year we learned to be independent, to be comfortable being so very different from each other yet so close. To accept the changes that the years apart had brought in each of us. Then came the big, dreaded M word for me – Marriage!

Marriage was a such a shock! With Z! Here was someone I could be so close to on so many different levels. More levels than I’d ever explored before. You must have felt left out, in those first few months, when all I could see, hear and think was Z. I don’t know, I was too caught up in marital bliss.


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